My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I can text with my tongue
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
