He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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