I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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