There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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