Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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