this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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