My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fuck appropriateness.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
