it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
