just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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