so explain again why im purple
no
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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