I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
