stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
