Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
