you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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