I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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