Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
