Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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