making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
