I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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