Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
