once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
