i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
