dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
