Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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