I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
