I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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