fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
