Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
