why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
