i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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