he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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