just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
