So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
