trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
