I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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