If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
