My brain says no but my pants say off.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
