i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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