Don't you send me to vm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
