I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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