I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
