Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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