we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
