but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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