his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
