it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i out mim tonsoeep
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
