what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
