I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
