he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
