so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
