R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
