This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
